Well well well. Look at me. Forgetting to schedule a post like an idiot. *sips old fashioned* Well kids, I apologize profusely for that, that’s on me entirely. I’m sure you’ll forget all about it when you kick back and read about the absolute MAJESTY that is…..Roma. (that’s “Rome” for those of you not enrolled with Duolingo’s intensive Italian tutelage)
Let’s see, where did we leave off? AH YES!!! I had just finished (looks at bucket list, checks box) scarring a child for life.
A fairly serious crash on the A1 Autostrada caused a significant delay arriving in Rome. There were two great outcomes from this: first and foremost, the crash–while serious–was not life-threatening for anyone involved, and ultimately was just an inconvenient delay for (admittedly) a lot of people as the authorities shut down the Autostrada while they tended to those involved. Yes, a time-based inconvenience but ultimately a minor one when matters of life/limb are at stake. Thankfully everyone was okay. Secondly, it resulted in a later arrival in Rome than anticipated which meant the ZTL (Zona Traffico Limitato, or limited-traffic zone) was no longer active by the time your favorite Professore arrived.
Loyal readers (both of you) will recall that last year, a B&B along Via Cavour was the accommodation of choice purely through the luck of a certain hotel booking website and it was wonderful. This year was only slightly different, in that the hotel booking site was utilized SO early that said B&B wasn’t even booking that far out…..so a fresh property was chosen that was more or less right across the street. Hotel Romano, and boy I tell ya….the view did not disappoint.
A quick check-in, dropped the car at the nearby parking garage, and decided that there was zero chance of being bothered to hike very far for a snack so popped right across the street to break the cardinal rule of dining in Italy, especially Rome: not near tourist spots, and definitely not the places with an English-only menu right outside. Walked across the street to Ristorante Massenzio ai Fiori and….well as the meme of the dog humping the “no dogs allowed” sign says, “heck the rules”. What a fantastic surprise. Pro tip: ask the waiter (in Italian if you’re confident enough) for a little Rosso di Montalcino and a Carbonara. I know, Cacio e Pepe is the quintessential Roman pasta dish. It’s just SUPER salty at a lot of the larger spots, whereas a Carbonara will be easily as delicious (if not delicious-er) and significantly less salty. Bonus points: when all the tourists complain about how strong the house-made limoncello is, you’ll win hearts and minds with the hard-working staff by not only commenting how delicious it is, but by also being absolutely savage about the people who claimed it was strong. Write that down.
Astute observers will notice two ladies in the background of that wine shot. At one point a waiter asked, hearing them speaking to each other, if they were Russian. They clarified that they were in fact Polish and “we don’t much care for Russia.” Heh.
Dinner over, it was time for a good snooze, and a good snooze was absolutely had.
The next morning was proper Roman tourism time. What better way to see Rome than on a Vespa! Yes, I realize many of you are under the (extremely accurate) assumption that any American who goes to Rome and rents a Vespa their first morning has a total death wish. Okay first of all, I’ve been to Rome an entire ONCE before so it’s fine. Also the Taliban tried to kill me enough times that I completely lost count so if Giuseppe (they’re always named Giuseppe) ends up doing it in Rome while I’m having the time of my life on the iconic Italian scooter, then ya know what? So. Frickin. Be. It. We all end up there sometime, I have zero patience for dilly-dallying, shenanigans, and goings-on.
Quick (okay maybe not entirely) walk from the hotel along Via Cavour (where sits the Rome Vespa Museum, btw) past the main train station, and up to the rental agency (with a quick stop for a cappuccino and coronetto con marmellata–I’m only a partial heathen) and the Vespa 200 Death Wish Grand Prix of Roma 2023 was underway!
A short 10 minutes or so later and it was time to park up outside the pedestrian-only zone to visit the Trevi Fountain and Spanish Steps, where I got some serious modeling time in….or at a minimum made fellow tourists smile.
With the proper touristy boxes checked (lawd that fountain was people-y) the real adventure could start. The whole reason for being near Trevi and the Steps was because that’s also where the Capuchin crypt is located. I know, I know….”the HWUT?” Bear with me, I’ll try to give a brief back story:
Most people know who the Franciscan monks are/were. Pretty well-known sect. Most people also know about Martin Luther and his slight disagreement with the direction of the church. What a lot of people may *NOT* know, is that when Martin Luther nailed his Dear Pope letter up, a group of monks separated from the Franciscan brotherhood due to a similar disagreement with doctrine. They became known as the Capuchin monks, and for a long time had to hide because they were hunted. So a frock similar to that of the Franciscan order was worn, but with a hood to hide their faces.
Through a series of significant events, the Capuchin monks lost their original burial ground for their fellow friars and had to relocate–on short notice, shall we say–to a different area in Rome. They decided to use the bones of their long-since-passed brothers as, effectively, decorations inside their new digs as a way of illustrating the stages of life.
I’m very sorry that there’s no photos, but they are incredibly strict and watchful as the crypt is an active burial ground (their practices were outlawed and so there are several bodies buried in each chamber of the crypt in the dirt which can never be disturbed/disinterred/added to the bone murals their order created) but if you’re headed to Rome and want to see it, a quick search on Tripadvisor will bring up the available tours. Cannot recommend highly enough, it was a fantastic experience and not the “common” tourist attraction for sure.
After the Capuchins, the 200cc magic of Piaggio’s whimsical engineering brought us to the Avantine Keyhole. Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking. “Do what now?” (am I close?) Avantine Hill is one of the seven hills upon which Rome sits. On Avantine Hill, there’s a priory (I know, super weird having a church on a hill in Rome of all places). It’s called Il Buco della serratura dell’Ordine di Malta (“order of Malta keyhole” effectively). What it is, is a big green double door. You can’t go through it. But you *CAN* look through the keyhole. And what it reveals is…well, pretty spectacular.
A proper “hidden gem” if….you know…you’re into that sort of thing. I totally am.
After the Keyhole, it was back to the hotel for a quick rest, a dram of Weller Full Proof on the balcony, and then dinner at Cuoco e Camicia. One of the lasting gifts of ADHD is that the laser-focus/hyperfixation it creates on a given subject means I did ENDLESS research on where to dine (don’t get me wrong, Aroma last year was nice but…not memorable other than the view). Not disappointed in the food, service, or wine pairing.
After a hearty sleep, the next morning found me just putzin around Central Rome on the Vespa before turning it back in (got up early enough I had some time before the shop opened for the day).
A 15-minute walk back to the hotel after sadly parting ways with my new best Italian friend, grabbed a bottle of water and the camera bag, because it was time for a tour with one of my favorite Italians, definitely my favorite Roman–Massimo! We don’t do plugs here, really. I don’t have “sponsored partnerships” or any of that nonsense. But what I will say, is Massimo from Storytelling Rome (storytellingrome.com and @massimostoryteller on the ol’ gram-a-roo) is by far and away one of the hardest-working tour guides you’ll ever meet. Yes, it’s Massimo from last year. Yes, I may have felt slightly guilty about missing part of his tour due to timed-entry tickets at the Vatican Musems, so I booked a private tour directly through his website. No, I couldn’t begin to think of a better option for a tour of the Colosseo, Palatine Hill, and the Roman Forum. Massimo and his crew provide a lot of different tours in and around Rome, so even if you’ve been to the Colosseo, I promise you haven’t had the depth and interaction that one of his tours provides. He’s one of my favorite people, and my only request is that if you’re going to Rome you don’t book a tour with him when I want to go back or I’ll be sad if he’s all booked up (but also happy because he deserves a full calendar!!). Plus he’s a fan of otters and Assassin’s Creed so…..yeah pretty strong bromance happening if I’m honest.
That evening was what should have been an epic rooftop bar crawl…..but due to closures and a rather “italian” attitude toward table service (not even remotely a complaint, just a reminder for anyone headed that way) what should have been five rooftop bars became two and the executive decision to pack it in and have a nap (travel exhaustion was starting to set in the day before, so taking it easier was the name of the game at this point). That said, they were both fantastic fun. I had an Old Tonka (Tonka Bean Old Fashioned) and a Negroni and a couple smashing views.
Sadly, the next morning brought with it another drive, this time departing Rome for Ercolano….but come on kids, this isn’t just *ANY* ol’ travel mommy blog. This is WEEKENDS WITH THE PROFESSOR! Any professor worth his salt (especially if he has the sheer audacity to own Indiana Jones’ hat and boots) is going to find a ridiculous stop along the way.
And this week’s entry is no exception.
Welcome, friends, to McDonald’s Roma Appia Frattocchie. Some of you will recognize this McDonald’s but for those who *DON’T*….please bear with me as I explain *WHY* your beloved Professor stopped at Mc-gotdang-Dondal’s on his way out of Rome.
When they were building this McD’s, they discovered a section of the original Via Appia (ancient Roman road) during the excavation/foundation pouring phase. Even better, they found the remains of three individuals buried along the roadway (presumably poorer individuals who died along the road and whose families couldn’t afford “proper” disposition of remains). While the original remains were of course respectfully removed and reinterred elsewhere, replicas were placed along the road in the spot where the originals were found. Yes, this is actual original basalt Roman Road under the McDonald’s. Yes, it’s thousands of years old. Yes, the original ruts from wagon wheels are still intact……and yes, it’s the most ridiculous (and awesome) McDonald’s on the planet.
Also I got a Crispy McBacon. For the truly curious. It was the single best sandwich I’ve ever had from a McDonald’s in my 43 years on this green and blue rock.
As always, thanks for coming back! I promise there’s more “advice-oriented” entries coming once this iteration of the Italian road trip is complete. Until next time!
Another great read with awesome pics. Thanks for sharing to all the loyal fans. All two of us 🤣🤣🤣. I’m pretty sure there a hell of a lot of loyal horsey travel fans 🥃
We had an evening view through the key hole. It was magnificent!