The Spectacular Adventure of Tomorrowland 2022 (Part One)

Hello and happy Friday once again!! Today is part one of the spectacular trip around Tomorrowland 2022 (Weekend 2). Let’s get right to it, shall we?

Late in 2019, I said screw it….2020 is the year of the Professor’s 40th, let’s do Tomorrowland. If you’ve read the posts here about EDC Las Vegas, Tomorrowland is Europe’s answer to EDC. I was so excited. The Professor, the Aging Raver, was about to go International. If you’ve ever clamored for tickets to your favorite artist’s concert near you, and lamented about it going to “sold out” status within seconds, imagine the stress of trying for something overseas, in a place you’ve never been, with no idea which of the NUMEROUS packages offered is going to work for you. Welp, went in blind, missed the primary option of glamping in the *REALLY* nice “tents” camping on-site, so opted for the Global Journey package, train via Eurostar from St Pancras to Brussels, accommodation in Brussels, and shuttles for the festival. The excitement was at an all-time high. A whole “thing” was scheduled–visiting a friend in Germany, quick day-trip to the village of Fucking, Austria (which has since changed its name), a drive up the Transfargarasan Highway in Romania (a la Clarkson, Hammond, and May)….it was going to be unbelievable.

And then that thing happened. You know the one. 2020. That.

Tomorrowland graciously extended already-purchased tickets to “the next time we’re together again”….whenever that was. All the other stuff planned though…..heartbreak doesn’t even begin to describe it (but don’t worry….those will all still happen). 2021 came and went….without a Tomorrowland.

But then…..gasp. The email came in. “Your Global Journey confirmation for July 2022.” Elation. Butterflies in my stomach levels of it. And then…..nervous panic to book flights, hotels, and at least *SOME* of the things originally planned for 2020.

Unlike Italy, this was a non-stop flight, BWI to Heathrow. And also my last time booking on Priceline ever. The site said everywhere 2 checked bags per person flew free, but naturally, upon check-in, no bags were on the tickets. So that was a few hundred dollars I could have done without spending, or at least been informed about ahead of time rather than lied to. And of course Priceline said “oh you have to contact the airline to fix that” and the airline said “you have to contact Priceline to fix it”. They can both eat the whole bag of ’em.

A decent bit of napping on the flight meant while not entirely fresh as a daisy, I was at least good to go to get into the city of London. How you ask? Wouldn’t be a proper American adventure without a LITTLE bit of road-based adventure right? The Vauxhall Corsa (i didn’t take a photo, sorry) provided the entertainment for the first weekend. I finally got to drive a hot hatch (AND A PROPER MANUAL!) on European B-roads. I was a happy car guy, that’s for sure (but more about that on road trip day down the way a little).

After getting into London and checked in to the Club Quarters on Gracechurch Street (north of Monument tube station, east of Bank station) which, I might add was a fantastic accommodation (probably will book the same spot again next time, and yes there will DEFINITELY be a next time) the car was deposited in an overnight garage not too far away, and a quick nap before the day’s walking adventure.

Setting off from the hotel, south across London Bridge (but not the original one, that one’s in Arizona now–google it, I’m serious….London Bridge is in Arizona) and then westward–2.1 miles in total, alllll the way to the eastern bank of the River Thames for a trip in the Pub Pod on the London Eye, which was full up for the 4:00 boarding. It was a lovely party for someone’s birthday, and the banter back and forth was immediately reminiscent of inter-service rivalries in the military. We talked so much shit about each other, had a bunch of laughs, and acknowledged that while us cross-Atlantic cousins may joke left right and center about each other, if someone messes with either of us, we always have each others’ backs. I don’t remember their names, but man were they fun….and the views weren’t too bad either!

Loads of fun on the Eye, and I *HIGHLY* recommend spending the extra and booking the pub pod if you go. Even more fun, however, was the walk back to the hotel, much of it along the Thames. Shakespeare’s Globe, a Fiat 500 Abarth, a replica of Sir Francis Drake’s ship, and some smarmy pub signage were all part of the evening.

The next morning was a RIDICULOUSLY early one. Out the hotel door at 3 AM, to the multi-story carpark, and westbound. Caught nearly *ALL* green lights, so that was nice. I did remember to bring a can of the Official Energy Drink of War™ along for exactly this moment.

Why so early? Well, after about an hour and 45 minutes punching westward (and might I just say, I’m incredibly proud of how quickly I took to driving on the wrong side of the road, from the wrong side of the car, shifting with the wrong hand), the first objective of the day sprang up from the horizon: Stonehenge. But as you should know by now, I don’t do the “common” touristy things. Even a trip to Stonehenge, for the Professor, has to be extra. So naturally I booked an experience getting to watch the sun rise from inside the stones. Absolutely epic. Just visiting the site is immensely moving, and having been once before (many many years ago) I knew it needed to be experienced properly. I won’t even bore you with words, because the photos convey so much more than I can.

Next up was a trip to Bath, to see the Roman Baths. But the town is about an hour away from Stonehenge, and the Baths didn’t open for three hours. What to do? That’s easy, it’s a road trip…take a detour!! Where to? The lovely village of Wells, though fans of the hit movie Hot Fuzz recognize it as “Sandford”. Fun little sightseeing detour that you won’t find on Tripadvisor. Or actually maybe you will I don’t know. Either way. Went there. Had a bacon sandwich for brekkie. Saw the fountain and the town square. Then went off to Bath!

Next up, was a trip to the famous (infamous?) Diddly Squat Farm Shop in Chipping Norton. Spotted a few great rides in the parking lot, a VERY built Supra and a couple of Caterhams. Snagged some photos, some souvenirs, and here’s a fun fact: because of the unique way UK village councils are operated (which is to say with complete loss of mental faculties), the Diddly Squat Farm Shop is not allowed to sell t-shirts. But what they can do is sell you a potato for 20 pounds, and a shirt is included free with the purchase of said potato. Even funner fact: that potato began to sprout, managed to make it through customs, and is now planted in a half-barrel planter on my deck. So I will have a crop of Jeremy Clarkson’s potatoes coming this fall. Perfect for venison stew, can’t wait!!

You might be thinking “gosh Professor, that’s a full day!” Sure was enough to fill up most peoples’ day that’s for sure….not mine though. No sir/ma’am, there was one more spot to stop before taking the car back to Heathrow. The rest of the afternoon was a chance to finally see some fantastic friends, Michael and Kyle, and their families who are enjoying a military tour in England. True to form, the smiles and jokes started as if no time had passed since the last time we were all together (huddled around a “fire pit” made from a disused hibachi grill in a smoke pit at Sheppard AFB in north Texas). Kyle even had a surprise waiting for me, that I can’t *WAIT* to crack open (once i’m over my bout of Covid–but that’s covered in part two). Truly truly grateful to have these gorgeous bastards in my corner.

Super happy we were able to get together guys, wouldn’t have been nearly as great a trip without ya!!

After that it was back to Heathrow, drop off the car, and then the express train back to Paddington, and underground to Bank. London (and the UK in general) really is a pretty easy place to get around in without a car. Polar opposite to what we’re used to in the States, for the most part.

Monday was the day to get fancy and gallivant around St. James and Mayfair. Suit was my hopsack double-breasted from Spier and MacKay, lapel pin is the venerable Scotch Ness Monster (GET IT?!?! HAHAHAHA) and in my usual way, I subtly trolled with my pocket square, a print of Washington Crossing the Delaware. The day’s experiences included the site of the Texas Embassy, Picadilly and Burlington Arcades, tea at the St. James Hotel, the Marble Arch, a sculpture called Still Water, and James J Fox to sit in Sir Winston Churchill’s actual cigar-smoking chair, with one very important “souvenir” being made bespoke and accompanying me on future adventures. I’m very excited about that.

After changing at the hotel, snuck around the corner to Honest Burgers Bank and folks…I didn’t even get a photo of the burger but hot freakin DIGGITY was I impressed. I have to say, it very well may have been the best burger I’ve had in my 42 years and change. Yes, I realize the gravity of that statement. I stand by it. Absolutely fantastic, and the ladies running the joint were a huge pleasure to chat with while enjoying it. After dinner, a stop at Fortnum & Mason as the “most Instagrammable bar in London” for an Old Fashioned. The Italian bartenders DEFINITELY knew what they were doing, it was perfect. That doesn’t happen often outside the US, so color me VERY impressed with the food and drink scene!

Tuesday morning meant it was time for proper touristy stuff. First up: Tower of London! Followed by the British Museum, which was the biggest let-down ever. Due to the heat wave paralyzing the city (or what those of us from the midwestern United States refer to as “a mild summer’s day”) almost all of the British Museum, to include all the mummies and associated displays, was shut. The only thing really open (besides gift shops, of course) was the main-floor sculpture gallery. Thankfully, that includes the Rosetta Stone, so while it wasn’t nearly as full a day as it could/should have been, it was still definitely bucket-list-worthy. After the British Museum, quick change to look a little more…..tropical….and a cab was hailed to what in my opinion was probably one of the MOST memorable parts of the trip. Dinner and (several) cocktails at Sugar Cane bar, my favorite bar I’ve ever gone to outside the US. They COMPLETELY embrace the tiki culture, the atmosphere is spot-on, the food is caribbean as it gets, the drinks are out of this world delicious, and the staff? Some of the most welcoming, friendly people I’ve ever met (and free shots!). Genuinely great spot, and it will *ALWAYS* be on the list when I am back in London.

Wednesday started off completely on-theme with the following headline:

Why “on theme” you ask? Because it was time to catch the tube north to Crouch End. I know, it’s a HUGE tourism hub. Actually that’s a lie it’s not even close to one and it probably never will be for most people, but it was for this trip. Remember that detour to Wells from Sunday? Well friends, Crouch End is where another feature from the so-called “Cornetto Trilogy” was filmed, specifically Shaun of the Dead. After that, I went to Poundland. No seriously it’s a real thing over there. I know what it sounds like…..but it isn’t that.

A lovely day out, but had to head back to the hotel to change for dinner, which was at The Duck & Waffle, 40 stories above London. The view didn’t suck, and the food and beverage were on point. I started with a pecan old fashioned, and had Duck & Waffles (duck leg confit, duck egg, waffle) and a Duck & Stormy (tee hee get it? puns) while gazing at Tower Bridge. How I find these places randomly is beyond me but the track record continues that’s for sure.

Thursday morning begat a quick 2-mile run, continuing tradition from Italy back in February, followed by a proper Full English at a tavern established in 1757, then it was off to St Pancras for the Eurostar to Belgium, where the story continues next week. Until then, you’ve got a world out there to go see. Hop to it.