Heroic Conclusion of Epic Italian Grand Tour: Carnival in Venice

Yes friends, it’s time for the conclusion of this bucket-list grade road trip up Italy. But fear not, for we have another (albeit nowhere near as involved) RaveHajj coming next month, and other adventures yet this year. For now, pour a glass of your favorite beverage and join me on this final installment.

We left the action on the way out of Firenze, having to decide between the “scenic” and “direct” routes through Tuscany. Granted, I’m normally the kind of guy who would hit up “scenic” 99 times out of 100. But you may recall as we left Firenze, we had some pit stops to make along the way…and that means the extra 90 minutes or so the scenic route would have taken could be better used for….other things. You’ll see.

It has to be said, of course, that I surely would have rather had a Top Gear style “rental car” for all the tunnel blasting than the 1.4L Jeep Renegade. It……does not make a good noise. At all. Not even a little.

Regardless, after a two-hour journey that seemed a lot shorter (probably because of the stunning scenery reminiscent of the Appalachian area of the US) the first pit stop was looming.

It’s at this point we have to pause in our story, and go back a few years to a trip I took to Las Vegas, specifically the Shelby American museum. Shelby as in Carroll Shelby, the notorious chicken farmer who became one of the most prominent figures in global automotive history. On this day, I (truly inadvertently, it was an unplanned side trip so I hadn’t schemed any of this in advance) was wearing a graphic t-shirt with a Ferrari 250GTO on it. For those not familiar with the history, the 250GTO competed against Shelby’s Cobras in numerous automotive racing in the 62-63 timeframe, with Ford famously attempting to buy Ferrari in 1963, spurring the GT40 and a very famous rivalry.

Well, that inadvertent trolling instance led to the decision (thanks to the impressive generosity of a certain Ms. Kaitlyn) to repay the favor while in Italy. Pit stop number 1: Museo Ferrari in Maranello. The Holy Land for those who have been baptized in petrol. Even those who don’t qualify as “car enthusiasts” at least recognize the name. It’s one of the most historied, passionate, pedigreed automotive manufacturers on the planet. I adore oh so many of their examples of automotive perfection over the decades. And what did I do? I trolled them with a Carroll Shelby “Ferrari’s Ass is Mine” shirt. I mean come on….wouldn’t you, if you knew you could get away with it?

Some of the staff caught the shirt and, while they may not have read or understood the text on it, definitely recognized the giant hooded cobra logo. And they smiled. So I think it just goes to show that while rivalries still run very deep, we’re all fans of the same thing at heart.

Trolling aside….the entire museum was fantastic and I can’t recommend it highly enough (unless you really aren’t a car person, which is totally cool….there’s some lovely cafes around the factory/museum you can hang out at while those in your party who are, tour the facility).

After the museum, it was time to hit up number 27 across the street for a pizza before heading off to the next pit stop.

After lunch came pit stop #2, which was something I’ve been waiting almost 30 years to visit.

I was 14 when I watched, live on tv, the crash that claimed Ayrton Senna’s life. While the memorial isn’t at Tamburello corner, it’s still a very heavy feeling being there. There’s no possible way to pick out one single F1 driver as “the best” compared to all others, simply because of all the true greats who’ve come and gone over the years. But of his generation of drivers, in the era in which he reigned…he truly was the greatest.

The time for solemnity was over, though, and it was time to head to Marco Polo airport, turn in the rental, and get a ride to Venice. There are no cars allowed on the islands themselves; while scooters and bicycles are permitted, they’re nearly nonexistent and ALL traffic is by foot or boat. So no point paying for a rental car that’s just going to sit in a garage, right?

The cab driver from the airport was quite a gentleman, providing tips on the Vaporetti (the public-transport water taxis, if you will, which go up and down the Grand Canal) and getting around Venice in general. Handy information to have because admittedly….I did not research any of that prior to the trip. And I felt ridiculous about that. But hey, just goes to show I’m human.

Sort of.

Anyway, the Vaporetto (“Vaporetti” being plural, and meaning “little steamer”) is a superb bit of public transport found in Venice. As most modern cities have buses, trains, subways, etc…..Venice has the Vaporetto. It’s 7.50 Euro per person per trip (buying single-use tickets means the ticket is valid for any trip within 75 minutes of purchase time), or you can get a pass for 1, 2, or 3 days (20, 30, 40 euro each respectively). The only cheaper way to get around the city is by walking, and the Ponte Rialto is the only pedestrian bridge across the Grand Canal. I know next year will definitely involve the pass rather than paying for a single trip here and there. If you use it for three or more one-way trips, the 1-day pass pays for itself, and as you increase the days on your pass, if you’re using it frequently…yep. Anywho, that’s enough selling for today. Do the vaporetto. Get the pass. Have wine. Lots of wine.

Where was I? Right. Arriviamo in Venezia.

With the pit stops, it was dark by the time the lovely cabbie said arrivederci. But that just means the city was lit up beautifully as the vaporetto chugged down the Grand Canal.

It was a pretty fantastic welcome to be sure, but….calories were needed. Okay maybe not needed but….desired. And did you know there’s no shortage of fantastic restaurants in Venice? I know. Total shocker.

As it happens, a full bottle of red with dinner along with limoncello after means the night becomes a wine-drunk adventure. And when you’re in a foreign city, that conjures up images for most people of the movie “Hostel”. Thankfully Venice is not that. It was absolutely spectacular. Came into a square and heard, of all things a didgeridoo. How did I know immediately it was a didgeridoo? Well because I have a didgeridoo and I do in fact play it. There. That’s a thing you know now. But the music was coming from a palazzo (i have NO IDEA WHERE so please don’t ask….wine-drunk walkies through Venice at night) with windows that started above my head, with smooth granite stones preventing anyone from climbing easily and looking in. Well, this fan of Assassin’s Creed and 5-time Tough Mudder finisher wouldn’t be so easily swayed. My lovely assistant helped me with a little boost, got me up to the window bars to pull myself up, and I got a glimpse of what’s to come for next year:

Yes, that’s right, the ol’ Perfesser’s getting a costume and attending a proper Venetian costume ball at Carnival. Sometimes you just gotta make a decision and commit. After that, there was a good bit more adventuring a point to which the following photos will attest.

The hotel room (Hotel Cavallo E Doge Orseolo) was spectacular, beautiful view over a canal and Gondola station….which means I was five for five in picking the accommodation. Though in fairness, it’s pretty much like this EVERYWHERE in Venice. Next year will be on the Grand Canal, meaning even better views!

First order of business, after a rather ridiculous breakfast (one reason another hotel was chosen for next year), was–you guessed it–roam. It was also spectacular to see my friend Roy, he was there for the creation of Professor Horseyhead in Afghanistan, and happens to be stationed in Italy so he was able to come to Venice for a bit and hang out. Definitely added that extra bit of awesome to the trip.

After the day’s wander, it was time to head back to the room, suit up, and mask up. Yes, I know, it’s not “a proper costume”. Don’t worry, that’s handled for next year….but come on. The ol’ Professor still looked good. Even took a gondola ride! More wandering, dining, and seeing stuff that’s hundreds of years old. Maybe a little debauchery but….we’re not going to post any photos of that here. Maybe a high school age party happening with Ke$ha providing the soundtrack in the hotel bar. Maybe a lot of stuff you need to just go experience for yourself.

Up the next morning (technically it was still “AM” so that means morning right?) and right back into it. Omelets and Negronis (and Aperol Spritzes of course) on the Grand Canal, costumes, wine, crazy masks, motivational graffiti, wine, and gelato….what a day.

Sadly, all good things end…..and this marks the end of not just the post, but the Italian adventure in whole. A *VERY* early morning to catch the vaporetto back to Piazzale Roma, for the bus ride to Marco Polo airport and then a very long time in the sky to return to the US.

There’s a whole world out there waiting for you to discover it.

See you in a month or so for EDC Las Vegas. Thanks for reading.